Defining America, Defining Ourselves

President Jimmy Carter, in his 1979 "Malaise" speech, warned, "In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns."

We moved from multi-generational households to families scattered across the country.  From close knit communities to isolationism.  Our McMansions, our materialism has become a drain on natural resources, land, finances, infrastructure, the economy, and more importantly than all that, our souls.

Depression affects more than 21 million American children and adults annually and is the leading cause of disability in the United States for individuals ages 15 to 44. Humans need human contact and human interaction.  As a country, we used to fill our lives with hard work, family, friends, and faith.  Wives were home to clean and care for parents, husbands and children.  Children were tended by family around the clock for the first five years of their lives and even when they went to school obligations to home and family came first.  Workplaces were more often the family business, the mom and pop shop, not the uncaring corporate machine.  The void left in our lives by the loss of our communities, our caring work environments, our human support systems, our families is eating us alive from the inside out.

We each have our coping mechanisms which can be seen in destructive trends within our current culture.   Now we fill the void with food, television, video games, internet, workaholism, alcohol, gambling, and stuff - lots and lots of stuff and the time it takes to find that stuff.  All that stuff has become an addiction.  America is a society of addicts, depressed addicts who are ever striving for the next thing - the next meal, the next purchase, the next news report, the next cause, the next raise, the next promotion.  The average American has 3.5 open credit cards, with an average household carrying credit card debt equaling $15,788 (Federal Reserve). Just 20 years ago, comparative figures were practically inconsequential in comparison. The average family had just under $3,000 in credit card debt in 1990.

An effort to fill a social void has become a compulsion causing us to further distance ourselves from those we love, or could love, striving ever striving for something tangible and fulfilling.  We put off having children until we have to defy nature with drugs and science and medicine to get pregnant.  We put off the people we love, with promises of tomorrow that never come because we are too busy accumulating.

Gold is cold comfort during the lonely night, debt the beast tearing down the door.

 From "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry and Sandy Chapin

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

What have our parents taught us?  And what are we teaching our children?  In just a few short generations, our entire society has collapsed in a heap of misery on so many levels.

Taoism teaches a concept called wu wei which translates literally into “without causing, doing or making.”  One way to understand this concept is an emptiness that is full.  For example, a pot can be fashioned of metal, but it is only the emptiness within that allows it to cook nourishing food.  A room can be built with bricks and mortar, but it is the emptiness in which we live.  When a door opens teeming with possibility, it is the emptiness that allows us to pass through and realize those possibilities.  When matter exists, it is merely dead weight, but when it has wu it has life.

By allowing the spirit of life, love, friendship, community to flow through you, fill you, guide you, you gain more than scrambling, fighting, stuffing your life, your body, your time with anything and everything.  Allow life to fill you rather than trying to fill your life.

President Theodore Roosevelt said that "The welfare of each of us is dependent fundamentally upon the welfare of all of us".  Many take that quote as an effort to support and justify the welfare and nanny style of socialist government.  However, we must understand that our culture as a whole helps to shape and define who we are as individuals and who we are as individuals shape and define our culture.  The two are inseparable in a macrocosm and only malleable in a microcosm.  Each of us must start within our own lives, making the changes we wish to see within our culture, our society, our government as the large is a reflection of the small.

"Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns."

It is time to define ourselves and our country by who we are and what we believe in, not what we own.  Actions speak louder than words, change your life today.